Reflections in the Emerald
by Hylindril
Summary: New Moon AU. It's been years since Edward abandoned Bella but the past never dies. "I didn't know, I couldn't have known; I would have given you everything," Edward whispered after his family was torn apart. "I would have loved you, I would love you now."
1. Preface

Preface

(Edward's Point of View)

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream."

The sinister malady of the tune frolicked through my mind like a Reaper through a graveyard, embellishing me in its dark charm. A great fracture ruptured throughout our bonds, severing, and isolating us into factions. The plague washed over us like acid rain, dissolving, and scattering us to the four winds.

His song was twisted, and so was his bell like voice, cracking the eggshell and revealing it to be hollow. Petrified, his cherubic visage knotted me into the muddy soil, stiffening my frame. The melody crept through my every fiber; fluids, entrails, and bone marrow were casually invaded.

A silvered mist circled above me, sneaking and drifting to the tempo of the corrupted nursery rhyme. It was smothering me, suffocating me between the reigns of love and hate.

Yet, despite the scorn, I would transform my life into a shield; broad and bronze. I'd turn my very soul into a strict blade, and dip its alloy in my venom. Risking life, family, and limb I would foster light to him, and deliver carnage to any who'd dare harm a single hair on top of his exalted head.

And still, he hum's the distorting lullaby. An evil sneer pulled up his lips on his marble face, nefarious and rotten, and a morose portrait stretched through my antique mind.

We were divided, we were conquered, and we were… nothing. And all my sanity conjured, from within the bane of reasoning, were her warm chocolate brown eyes.

With this mourning in my little heart of glass, my thoughts could only whisper to the gleaming stars, "Bella, I've wronged you."

Yet my revelation is too late, and he who walks behind our sight, is worth more than a soul mate. As I lie succumbing to this sorrow, he stands above me, plotting his tomorrow.

"Nevermore", the raven cries, while I rest beneath the wings of bleeding hearts, and can no longer see the cerulean skies.

And in his velvet voice he spoke, my final rites, "Flew into my cage, you stupid canary."


	2. A new light

**Chapter ****1**** – ****A ****new ****light**

I expected it to be more silent, a sort of low humming but I was wrong as I strolled through the Cimmerian night of Nuremberg. With nothing in my pockets but a small cell phone I clung to my solitude striving to be forgotten; to become obsolete.

The air was scented in a sea of perfumes, freshly baked cheese bread, croissants, tenderized meat from the Butcher, brewing beer, and not one lavished interest on me. It was just another city, another country, another place where all the statues and paintings somehow reminded me of her.

Wherever I traveled, sometimes anywhere or at times even nowhere, she was there. Her frail human physique, heart shaped face, and warm docile chocolate brown eyes haunted me. Every step I took was like a stroke of midnight, and it began as it always did, when the ghost of her memory came to torment me. I was forced to recall her vacant expression and saddened faltering eyes, as I bid her farewell.

There were days when I believed I couldn't bare the unending remorse, or that happy dagger that cleaved at my chest. It hacked, slashed, and tore free my dead bowels, tearing out and serving the devil my beat less heart on a silver platter. I had no need for it after all.

What I had inflicted upon her was beyond mortal sin, it was destructive and vile. I had driven a stake through that gentle soap bubble; I filled it with incurable poison, and left it to rot. And all that, was little over four decades ago. Four decades spent in utter ruin, in which every minute, when air filled my lungs it reminded me of her. How grateful I used to be, when her chest expanded and filled with air, giving me all I needed to live.

I barely paid attention to the BMW's, buses, and street trolley rushing on by me. The loud blare of their engines was just too quiet to infringe on my heavy thoughts. I rounded into an alley, smelling the distant odor of garbage cans, and vermin. I passed a tavern or _Wirtschaft,_hardly inhaling the scent of malt beer and brats. The incoherent mental ramblings of the drunks inside were almost soothing over the jabbing despair in my head.

There was light lingering within me though, somewhere between the guilt and yearning to return to her. In this very moment, this second, she could be lounging in a rocking chair cuddling herself into warm cotton blanket. I saw her with a book in her hands, maybe Pride & Prejudice or Sense & Sensibility, her favorites. She also held a cup of green tea around her finger, and relaxed in front of a fireplace made of cedar and bricks.

Grey strains colored her lovely seaweed like mahogany hair, and on the bridge of her nose sat a pair of reading glasses. And just maybe, as painful yet inspiring as it was, she wasn't rocking alone in front of the searing fire. An old man enveloped in another blanket, sitting next to her and reading too, and occasionally tossing an affectionate smile at her.

This was what I had hoped for. I longed for he to rid herself of my memory, and foul wish for immortality. Though I can't predict what would have happened had I stayed but I never could have erased the roaring torch of life inside her. Or could I have?

Would my subconscious desire to keep her forever, have swayed me to give her an impenetrable armor? Could I have seen into her eyes, and cast my reflection in their burgundy glow? The trees passing us in a blur as we ran, matched for velocity, through a green wilderness? There was comfort in that thought too because she would be here with me, in this very lonely moment.

But I had to protect her above anything else. I had to throw a veil of safety on her vulnerable form. Every minute, hour, and day she spent by my side her life was in peril. Against my better judgment and out of selfish craving's I endorsed it anyway. And all that time I knew, eventually, eventually, eventually, something grisly is going to happen. When that small cubic drop of blood soared through her cracked skin, and Jasper's thoughts became inflamed with thirst; I knew I was right.

I had no choice then, as much as it devastated me, I had to leave my lamb behind. Why oh why that cruel fate intertwined our destiny's I'll never know. Maybe it was it's way to punish me for slaughtering the people in my decade's crusade for human blood. That would be a plausible explanation, wouldn't it?

I had to break her, I had to tell the most notorious lie I ever lied. I had never done anything more detestable. My sweet, beautiful, and innocent Bella, my meteor that flared across my horizons setting everything aglow; how I struck at you. She ambled through my world and new seeds of life sprouted and blossomed. The nebulous sky unveiled itself, and revealed an endless delight of glistening stars.

I stopped in my pace. A large hole in my stomach compressed me, it throbbed, and pulsed through me. My fingers shivered and dug my unbreakable nails into my diamond palms. My lips parted, ending their hardened line, and trembled as if I had the shivers. The hole spread branches through my body, greedily consuming, puncturing, splitting, and conquering me. It asserted control and used my woe against me.

These momentary lapses were of lesser quantity in recent years. My veins were fueled with a type of liquid misery that melted me. But as time passed my sorrow turned hard as granite. The hole was bolted shut with a rock so it couldn't grow. But every once in a while, the rock was smashed into pebbles, and the misery spilled over me again.

I squeezed the sides of my torso with the shaking arms I had, trying to minimize the expansion of that hole. Slowly, as I swallowed and heaved with breaths the hole shrunk, and filled it with my rock again. I banished, as impossible as it was, Bella's image from my mind. I tilted over, still standing on my feet, smashing my belly. I sighed, cleansed, as I became whole again.

I took a look about me to see where I had gone. Thinking of Bella and the past four distraught decades of anguish my sense of orientation was flushed. I was long out of the alley, and near a cathedral. I stood up straight and continued to walk down the street to nowhere with one arm still wrapped around my stomach. No human minds were close to have seen my crumbling muscles, and despairing face.

As I walked I began to think about my family. Rarely did I pick up the phone to check in with them. Once I realized I couldn't set foot on the same continent as _she_ they implored me to come home, and not vanish into Europe. I couldn't oblige. I hated myself for making Carlisle and Esme worry and often considered going home. But in my state of mind seeing me would only cause greater concern for them.

Just a few months ago the buzzing in my pocket snapped me out of my trance, and Carlisle was on the phone.

His voice was sad and tired. "Edward," he announced semi happily. "How have you been? Where are you now?" Whenever they called I seemed to be in a different nation of Europe. The last time it was France.

"I'm in Munich, Germany Carlisle. I'm doing okay," I had answered lying. "How is everyone at home?" They had just recently migrated again. They moved from Madison, Wisconsin, to upstate New York and close to Canada.

"Everyone is doing well, Esme's blueprints turned out splendid. She did a marvelous job and is really proud of herself. Rosalie and Emmett are in Brazil, celebrating yet another honeymoon," he said laughing, trying to lighten the mood. "Alice has been helping Esme decorate the house. They've been painting and buying furniture and decor like lamps, oil paintings, pots, chandeliers, curtains, and flower seeds for the back yard."

From the sound of it they were leading peaceful life's, as always. "What about Jasper and you?"

I noticed Carlisle's reluctant sigh, and felt ashamed over leading away from why he truly called me. It was the same, every time.

"Jasper's been doing a lot of studying at the Jefferson Community College here in Watertown, he wanted to further his view of philosophy and comparative literature," Carlisle said.

"That's good, I'm glad he's keeping busy," a sharp edge in my tone betrayed my casual voice. It was the fifth time in forty years that my speech had leaked the wee drips of sourness. There was no legit reason as to why.

Never, never once in all the time since the _event _and now had I blamed Jasper. I always chided myself. If I hadn't exposed Bella to my world Jasper would never have had that faithful collapse. There wouldn't be need for him to strife for penance. The guilt was misplaced, and the fault was lain out before my feet. "Edward?"

I blinked twice before remembering that Carlisle was still on the line, "Sorry Carlisle, I just dozed off a bit."

"So what about yourself?" I inquired. Carlisle had a ritual though, that he performed in every new place.

"I applied for a position as head surgeon at the local memorial hospital. I'm still awaiting their reply but the interview went smoothly. Alice predicted they were still debating over me and someone that is, well, more _experienced,"_Carlisle chuckled. What a joke I had thought bemused, if those ignorant humans only knew of Carlisle's century long exploits.

"Surely they will pick you Dr. Cullen, you and your impressive resume," I mimicked his voice perfectly, lightening the mood even deeper. Undoubtedly, it would be in vain, and Carlisle's pending question would arise soon enough.

"Do you really think I sound like that?" he questioned humored. I laughed half-heartedly.

"Only when you use your angry voice," I snickered. I could see Carlisle shaking his head, and rolling his eyes.

"I don't even think I have an angry voice," he challenged. "Although, to be honest, I might have a rougher tone when disciplining child patients," he mocked. That would be worth paying money to see.

Carlisle laughed a short time longer until he sighed, and I knew the atmosphere might just grow uncomfortable any second. "I'm glad to hear some life in you again son," he murmured elated.

But he and I both knew that it was untrue. Carlisle had known me for so long that he had become immune to my charade. Perhaps he didn't even think it was one but that I was desperately trying, failing horribly in the process.

I could hear Carlisle adjusting his chair in the background of the phone, sitting up, and I distressed over his coming disappointment. I had hoped he would surrender given enough time but he prevailed, valiantly reaching forward.

"Edward," he began swallowing nervously, "Son, I know you've heard this before and you're probably tiresome of the subject but, Edward, have you considered coming home?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, a mask of sheer grieve had trapped my face.

"Edward," Carlisle continued, sensing my bitter silence, "I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through because it would be a lie. But I am going to say that life is still full, and if you continue down this self-destructive road you'll risk being left behind." Carlisle's pleading words shuffled my insides excruciatingly.

"I don't want to see my son becoming a decadent statue, void of the simplest pleasures in life." Carlisle only spoke to easily with rue in his voice. Perhaps he felt liable over the catastrophe he couldn't help avoid. Either way, he shouldn't direct blame towards himself.

"Carlisle," I spoke uneasy, "I'm, just not, ready, to come back," I stuttered.

"It's been forty years Edward. We've only caught glimpse of you less than a handful. Esme, Emmett, Alice, and we others miss you terribly. Do you think _she, "_he raised his voice at the word, "would have wanted you to live like this? Always in doubt and regret?"

I repressed the rumbling hiss in the back of my throat. The mere idea of Bella wanting a Utopian life style for me was rubbish. She should have been thrilled over my departure. I couldn't give her what any other man could, so why cling to an old scratched up stone?

I groaned quietly, feeling weary. "Carlisle to the rest of you it might seem like years but to me, the events unfold again every single day," I said painfully. "I have to live with the temerity of my own actions and the savage emotions that follow. I can't come home until I can learn to live with it and without affecting you."

Frustrated Carlisle's voice carried on, "Edward we're a family. What hurts you hurts us too. If you come home I'm sure we can work through this together." I withheld a sob building inside my chest. They didn't understand that they too were reminders of the time spent with the most exquisite person I had ever known, and loved.

"Please come home," Carlisle had made his final plea, "For Esme's sake Edward."

But I couldn't, not now, and maybe not forever. I didn't like troubling Esme so but I couldn't budge. The conversation promptly weakened into the realm of obscurity. Carlisle as always was left with nothing and couldn't convey me to come home. Frowning and crestfallen, and with a lowly goodbye he hung up. The urge to rip off my head was tempting then.

The fleeting appetite to physically punish myself was only strengthened when two weeks later, Esme called. The palaver with Esme was just as fruitless. It was nearly a perfect copy of the dialogue exchanged with Carlisle. Only Esme asked me to come home for Carlisle's sake. And again, I had to decline.

Thinking about them distracted me enough to leave the streets of the German city behind me, and I wandered off until standing atop and in front of a forest. My road came to halt there.

I contorted my face irate, there was something nagging at me. I've felt it for some time; maybe as long as ten years now. I huffed strained but filled my nostrils with the calming scent of pine. I looked across the tops of the pointy trees and watched as the night wittingly resigned to the dawn.

_Bella, _I let her name echo through my head. Her name was a double-edged sword filling me with moments of pleasure but burning me at the same time. The more I relived the events of another life time the more powerful that nagging became. I was hesitantly capitulating to it. I knew what it was, that nagging, but I had always exiled it.

What I did to her, was it truly such an atrocity? Of course it was, it's undeniable. But that nagging, it made me think of the other side of the medallion. Humans heal so much faster than vampires. Their life's have meaning and purpose compared to us, as we remain the way we always were. I didn't know how much I hurt her. It hurt me even deeper the way she accepted it, that I didn't love her. What a heinous crime. How could she embrace the lie after I declared my love for her to the world?

So maybe, instead of atrocity, it was kindness that led me away from her. I could never have given her a future, and one that she deserved. She would have grown old as I stayed by her side. Nevertheless, she would have always been my Bella, and always beautiful. But it would have robbed her of so many things.

I had to let her go, for her own good. I wanted her to have it all, everything a human life could offer. I aspired for her to go to college, study whatever field of interest she wanted, then go and live her dreams. I wanted the whole world to be her garden to explore. With me, yes, some of these tasks could have been accomplished. But the things that truly mattered like life, love and a family were turned to pillars of dust.

The nagging in my heart might be misleading. By chance, possibly, it wasn't just some badgering emotion. It was something that's been trying to leak through the gaps in my heart. It's been trying to reach me for so long, and I had revoked it for all that time.

_It wasn't a nuisance was it?_ I questioned myself. It was a light. It was forgiveness.

Subconsciously my mind opened the gates to forgiveness. And like a raging river it worked its way to my forsaken heart. It was trying to tell me that suffering is not eternal. That if you start with yourself, and accept the past, that all sins could be made moot. What I did to Bella was to protect her, and not harm her. Maybe I began to understand that. As much as it tormented me to leave her behind I knew it was for the best.

After forty-two years I finally understood that _it was _the right thing to do. And by some divine intervention my stubborn head finally gripped the fact that I couldn't go on like this forever. I doubted I would ever find someone that could allure me the way she did. But I always had our memories of those passionate times when I bathed in her delicious fragrance. My only wish is that she found true happiness and lived a wholly life.

The sun broke over the horizon and revealed a magnificent dawn. It was my first sun rise in decades. She threw her rays of warmth over the stunning trees, making them glitter in an everlasting emerald glow. They radiated with juicy life, turning the air into a bouquet of luxurious aromas. The sun turned the forest into a field of Christmas trees, as they kindled with sparkles of lustrous light.

When her beams hit me my cold skin immediately absorbed her heat. My body reflected the sun sending rainbows leaping across the trees. My lips twitched and a sound like a knife being scratched against pavement could be heard, while a crooked smile danced across my face. I looked into the sun seeing her perfect circle shape and felt new hope within me.

"Maybe it is time for me to go home, and play a tune on the old piano," I smiled into the light and waxed myself in her adoring blaze.


	3. Going home

**Chapter 2 – Going home**

It was overcast today; the entire sky was covered in gray colored clouds. A cool breeze drifted through the buffet of humans going about their business. If I hadn't feasted of the deer on the German reservoir in Nuremberg their rich aromas might have caused temptation for me.

Only minutes ago I exited a Delta flight and stepped foot back into the United States, and Syracuse, NY. When my feet made contact with the ground I felt a spur inside of me, like a rekindled flame. I felt home, and in the boundaries of a rusty life I once knew; back in my America.

I cruised down the walkway passing businessmen, flight attendants and an endless array of yellow Taxi cabs. I spotted the parking garage over the many buses quickly. I had called in for a rental so I could surprise Carlisle and Esme. I only hoped that Alice wouldn't spoil my arrangements.

I ascended the small pavement steps to the rental booth and pushed a small blue knob, ringing the bell. An oversized and short man came from around the corner to the window, wearing a navy uniform and a security type cap.

"Hello young man, how can I be of service?" he asked politely. I detected small crumbs from what must have been a pastry in his silvery mustache but kept a composed face.

"I'm here to pick up my rental sir," I reached into the pocket of my copper glossed leather jacket, and dug out my ticket, "The serial number is 8774-EAC, the Mercedes-950?"

The meager man grasped my ticket and began pushing keys on a consol. A projection of a screen, with no visible monitor, was filtered through a long and thin outlet. The blue screen displayed a sleek black car on command from the serial number, and a green lettered "okay".

"Alright sonny, your confirmed and I just need a quick look at your driver's license please."

Responding to his rough voice I retrieved my wallet from the pocket inside my coat. I slid out my driver's license that read "State of Wisconsin", on it. I had it issued about eight year ago when Carlisle and the rest of them moved to Madison, and was a precaution in case I decided to return then.

Skyler, reading the man's golden name tag, inserted my license in a thin outlet similar to the computer screens. My picture popped up on the monitor and read "Registered". Skyler handed the ID back to me along with an oval shaped metal cap that was no bigger than a pop bottle's lid. The cap had a thumb print on it, and had rendered car keys extinct almost two decades ago.

"Sign at the bottom please," he handed me a ballpoint pen along with the discharge papers. _Edward __Cullen, _I signed in my own personal calligraphy. "Thank you very much Mr., ah, Mr. Cullen. The car is on the second level in the southern most portion of the park house, got it?"

Somehow he reminded me of a teacher asking his pupil whether or not he understood the math problem. "Yes sir, thank you for your time," I answered kindly, and with a smile.

I left the service desk and headed for the stairs, leaving Skyler to his much desired hockey game playing on a television in the back room of the cubicle.

Once I entered the stairwells and the door was closing behind me I was at the very top opening another door to the second floor when the one below shut. I looked across the tops of many new brand versions of cars, searching for mine, like the Supersonic Porsche 2045, Beamer 696's, Ford Volvo's CC-4000, and SUV-Trackers. They were like the sired children of the models now considered "oldies".

I caught sight of the Mercedes just next to the public restrooms in the southern most corner of the garage, like the clerk had said. I crossed the parking lot within a second and placed the oval key over the slot on the handle, where a car key used to go, and pushed it in. A red light blinked around the oval and the driver's side door opened automatically.

I threw my rucksack filled with just a few of my clothes in the back and settled in the car. The handle, after the little red light flashed, pushed the oval stone back out. I forced the key into another slot beneath the steering wheel, another flash of red, and the car roared to life.

These day's though the oval key was only required for rentals, since all car owners merely needed their naked thumb's to activate their vehicles. The future was here, and I promoted it.

After the initial growl of the mechanisms the car started to purr like a kitten. The built in GPS map popped up on the radio screen asking me to enter a location. The point of origin was already displayed so I strolled through a collection of local cities until under "W" I found Watertown. The computer boasted a straight highway going north, and conveyed the distance of 70 miles to me along with a travel time of 55 minutes.

With a smile and competitive intentions I began my departure of the parking garage. Why not see if 55 minutes could be decreased to 25 or 20, shall we?

After stopping through the toll booth and paying my storage fees I pulled out onto the road. Leaving Hancock International behind me I hit I-81 that would lead me to my family.

I surveyed the telepathic frequency of the minds around me checking for police officers and speed traps. After not hearing one law enforcing thought I watched pleasantly as the speedometer climbed.

I raced down the highway like a NASCAR driver going for the gold. In a blur I watched other vehicles and motorcycles disappearing in less than two seconds behind me. The arrow of the speedometer shot up to 125 mph. With a smirk I continued to hustle down the road.

While driving I felt excitement rising inside of me. I hadn't seen Esme, Rose, Jazz and the others in so long. It was criminal to neglect them the way I did. But at least I had good reasoning as to why; I tried to tell myself anyway.

Considering and accepting the wondrous idea of Bella leading a normal human life freed my wings of those worn and dense chains. I felt adamant over the conclusions I reached two days prior pertaining to her happiness. My only dream? That once in a great while she'll think of me and simply smile, hopefully, having forgiven me.

It still mangled my heart thinking about Bella being with another man. But if he loved her the way I did, still do, and gave her everything she could want from life than he was my hero. Maybe he saw the same splendor in her character and was smitten immediately the way I was.

I tapped the touch screen of the GPS and summoned up the radio. I flicked through several channels looking for some sort of "classic's" channel. Music had been going to hell during the first decade of the 21st century in my opinion.

A rhythmic song started to entertain the bland atmosphere of the car. I smiled at the irony of the song. It was Daughtry's "Home". _Suitable, _I thought bemused. I relaxed, leaving the song to create an appropriate vibe. I sang silently to the tune of the melody.

I watched the "miles calculator" drop exponentially. I felt the enthusiasm radiating through me as I edged closer and closer back to the Cullen's. Rose and Em might already be back from Brazil too. I tried to speculate over Rosalie's reaction to my return. Knowing her persona I'm sure she was agitated over my isolation and making Carlisle and Esme worry so. But perhaps she would embrace me back into their life's; after all, we had known each other for more than a century now.

I'm sure Emmett was content about their new home. The bear population of upstate New York was vast. The age old grudge he held against them never seized so his vengeance could continue.

I pursued the highway for twenty more minutes going straight down I-81, passing through several other townships on the way to Watertown. The world had changed enormously in the past forty years. Gasoline had become worthless when Hybrid's dominated the world.

Gas stations were still around though and instead of gas they offered generators to recharge vehicles. Some cars even ran on water power. It was refreshing to see humanity's growing concern for the environment over the span of decades.

My fingers around the steering wheel started to itch excitedly when I entered the limits of Watertown and spotted the "Welcome to Watertown" sign.

Quickly I typed in the new address for the house I had gotten from Carlisle into the GPS. _183 __Evercrescent __Avenue_, the GPS swiftly showed a map and the location. They as always lodged on the very outskirts of the city and where the frontier of the forest was.

I hit the break and slowed significantly. Once I passed town square and viewed the city on a speedy note my eyes searched for the right turn to reach the driveway. Watertown was truly a forest type of city.

It wasn't all connected, and in one place like a regular city but instead there were portions of it spread throughout the wilderness bridged by highways. It seemed lovely enough anyway.

The GPS beeped, signaling me to make a right turn the next chance I had. I examined the trees, trying to find a hiatus in their formation. Luckily I discerned the pause in their line right away and following the GPS's directions turned unto the gravel road.

The clutter of the green touched the sides of the Mercedes as I inched down the driveway. Esme must not have had the time to see to the unkempt ferns and thickets scratching the doors of the car. The leaf blades of branches above soiled the roof of the car in a layer of day old rain.

I took a last curve while listening to the rocks of the gravel road grinding and scratching up against the tires of the car. My fervor was building to a crescendo as I saw hints of the house through the shaggy shrubs.

My cheeks twitched, and a brilliant smile paraded across my face. In awe, my breath got stuck behind my locked teeth. Once more, like untold times before Esme had exceeded herself.

Esme was a architectural genius. The house had three stories and was encased in wall's of glass like others before it. The very base and foot of the house was home to three ebony garage doors, surrounded by an outer crust of light cerulean marmor.

I parked the car in front of the white marble staircases and pushed the metal oval key. It popped out and silenced the car. I fervently hoped they hadn't noticed my arrival though surely they did but were ignorant that it was me.

I flung the rucksack over my shoulder and ascended up the stairs, still marveling at the house. When I reached the peak of the stairs I was on an open pillared gallery that seemed like it ran around the whole structure. It was made of russet brown timber. There were wind chimes, hanging flower bowls with elegant orchids, and stationary ceramic pots with daffodil's sprouting out of them.

The double entry door was made of glass but was framed with rosy brown niangon. All the windows of the house were framed in the exotic wood. The very pinnacle of the house was round like a half sphere. Unlike the rest it was covered in an auburn pallor concealing the interior.

Without knocking I turned the handle and invited myself in. The beauty within was even more grandiose than the exterior. I found myself in a round marble lobby made of pale tiles. The heart of the lobby held a blue and red tile covered circle, like a compass. To the left of me was a coat rack with one black and sleek mantel; Carlisle's. Beneath it was a tidy row of shoes.

I dropped the rucksack on a small bench leaned up against the wall opposite from the rack, and slipped out of my muddy shoes.

Carlisle and Esme were both home, but were so absorbed in their endeavors they hadn't noticed my entry. I walked to the center of the lobby and looked up watching a golden chandelier endowed with crystals and diamonds dangling off the ceiling. In front of me were two staircases, one to the left and right, embedded with red carpets down their spine that met on the second floor connected by a thin black metal railing.

I basked at ease in the scents of my family. I had almost forgotten their soothing fragrances. I inhaled deeply and decided it was time to make myself known.

The words rolled off my tongue like water drops of a leaf, "I'm home."

My voice carried through the house, echoing, and filling each room it seemed. On the third level I had heard someone pacing, it stopped. The second level's scraping noise had ended too.

Suddenly, like a stampede, two distinct set's of feet rushed down the stairs.

From my left, and out of the deluxe living room decorated with aristocratic furniture appeared Esme. A shocked sigh emanated from the top of the stairwell's where Carlisle abruptly stood.

Esme was enchanting and motherly as always. Her eyes were wide, and their golden orbs bore into mine, disbelieving. Her frail and shuddering face was surrounded by her caramel locks, bouncing like waterfalls off her shoulder's.

Her thoughts were immobilized. Her gaze wandered up and down my body, blinking, and in amazement. She took a few cautious steps closer to me as I greeted her with a warm smile.

Her hand reached out and softly touched the tip of my temple. I enclosed her fingers in my own, pressing her touch to my face. "It's me Esme," I whispered.

Esme's flabbergasted feature turned bright as she broke into a grand smile. "Edward," she laughed jubilant. I held out my arms welcoming her into an embrace.

She took hold of my face in her delicate hands and kissed my cheeks before tossing her arms around me. I hugged her back, strongly.

Joyously she laughed into my ear, tightening her embrace. Her mind was wild with thoughts of pure happiness, and still a few doubts over whether or not I was just a delusion.

"I can't believe you're here!" she yelled lively, and shaking me. "I was just thinking about you too."

"I know the feeling," I giggled back at her. "I love the house Esme," I complimented her.

"Oh, dear, I'm so glad you do," she replied still hanging on to me.

After what seemed like eons Esme pulled back and braced my face beaming at me. "Oh Edward," she sighed, "I've missed you so much."

I kissed the side of Esme's hand and mimicked her response, "I missed you too Esme."

"My prodigy returns," Carlisle smirked overwhelmed, and descending the stairs. Glowing with glee he instantly took me into his arms as I flung mine around him.

One of Esme's hands remained on my shoulder while I clung to Carlisle. He patted my back, proudly, and overly cherry over my sudden homecoming. "This is the best surprise I've had in forty years Edward."

Carlisle let go and he and Esme both stood exuberantly in front of me. "When did you decide to come back? Alice hasn't said anything," Carlisle smiled, putting his arm around Esme.

"It was sort of a last minute decision," I held on to Esme's hand, who wouldn't let go. "After a few realizations I just saw that there was no point in aimlessly wandering through the world without a purpose. In addition, I missed all of you so terribly that I just finally realized that I'd rather spent eternity with you rather than anything else," the truth purged the hole in my stomach, and made it grow smaller. It was cleansing.

"So," Esme began, playfully glaring at me, "you're staying with us permanently again?" The sparkles in her eyes and Carlisle's were engulfing.

"The nights finally past and the dawn shined on me. But I think, yes, I am ready to be home," I answered poetically.

Esme took me back into her arms, gentler this time. She ran her hand across the back of my head, soothingly. Though she tried to hide it, I saw chunks of Bella's face peaking through her memories. I just smiled at Esme's memory of her. I was thankful over Esme's appreciation towards Bella. Carlisle also had the same difficulty hiding Bella's image but that she appeared in their perfect memory made me blithe.

"So," I quickly washed away Bella's face, "where are all the others?" Esme and Carlisle's mind's were the only ones to be heard in the house.

"Well, Rosalie and Emmett just got back from Brazil a few days ago," Carlisle revealed, folding his hands behind his back. "They went out for a hunt. Emmett was disappointed over the bears going into hibernation but winter is upon us," he chuckled.

"What about Alice and Jasper? I was so sure Alice would have seen me coming, and I half expected her to be the first to greet me."

Carlisle laughed, "Well, the both of them took off little under two days ago."

"Where did they go?"

Carlisle pursed his lips, trying to recreate Alice's statement I already saw unfolding in his mind. "Alice said that she and Jasper wanted to take a little road trip down to Manhattan in New York City, something about seeing the Big Apple again."

"Knowing Alice she'll probably bite a huge chunk out of it," I said, and Carlisle and Esme chortled.

I took my rucksack off the bench but it was intercepted by Carlisle, "I'll take that," he said smiling. I nodded.

"I wouldn't happen to have a room would I?" I watched Esme scowling at me, zestfully.

"Of course you do silly boy," she smacked my hand. "I took the liberty of furnishing it too."

"Great, thank you Esme." She was already pulling me along and up the steps with Carlisle in tow.

While walking through the hallway's I observed the refinement and artistic style of the house. The second level from what I saw had a plethora of paintings on the wall ranging from Picasso's to Monet's. A few replica's of Michelangelo's David and Pieta, and the Venus de Milo where there too.

We climbed the stairs to the third and final floor. "What's in the half sphere on top of the house Esme?" I couldn't get my mind of the henna faded top.

"It's just the attic, but I got my inspiration for the house from the Taj Mahal." I heard Carlisle laughing behind me.

"You see she went from villas and mansions to imperial structures." We laughed, Esme too, as we walked down the corridor to my new room. "It's a masterpiece though, don't you think so?" Carlisle asked me.

"Indeed, I thought I had pulled up to a small town when I parked in the driveway."

"Oh," Esme frowned and snickered. "The both of you adore it, there is no denying it."

As we chatted Esme opened the chestnut door and showed me my new accommodations. A sweet lavender smell blew at me, from the lilacs in a vase on a table. The room was bigger than the one back in Forks. It was wider but the length was about the same. It was surrounded by glass, of course, but had a door leading outside. One side of the wall was exclusively covered in my books, CD's, and music videos.

Even though CD's had a circumference of Ping-Pong ball's these days Esme kept my old stereo. There was a 42" inch plasma TV planted in the one white wall of my new dwelling. There was a writing desk along with a keyboard and a similar thin outlet like the man at the airport had. Up against the wall was a familiar black leather couch too, with two satin pillows.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked shy. I walked into the center of the room and mused at the things I hadn't seen in nearly half a century.

"It couldn't be better." I heard Esme sighing relieved while I ran my fingers across the spines of the books. I turned in a full circle looking at all the things Esme had undoubtedly unpacked from the attic. My rotation stopped, unanticipated.

Across the room on the desk, next to the threshold there was a small picture frame next to the console. Like I was hypnotized I walked to the table and lifted the frame, made of sterling silver. Telepathically I saw Carlisle and Esme staring at each other startled and worried.

Within the space in the frame was a picture, old and with a few creases. My lips were in a hard line as I devoured the contents of the image.

Bella, with her arms wrapped around me looking into the camera.

"I, I remember this," my voice broke. "It was on her birthday. Her dad took the picture; Charlie." I cocked my head to the side, remembering what was going through me in that moment; all those years ago.

"Edward," Esme squeaked apologetic. "I'm sorry but I didn't expect you to come home."

"Where did you get this?" I asked her confused. I thought I had taken all the pictures and hid them underneath her floor board.

"Well," she started, sounding guilty, "that night when you took them and before hiding them away I decided to scan one of the pictures. It was just for memories' sake Edward."

"Don't be put out with us," Carlisle pleaded. I shook my head, silently answering him.

"I'm not but I would like to keep it here with me if you don't mind."

Esme nodded vigorously, "Of course, whatever you want sweetheart."

Carlisle and Esme slowly dissolved as the memories of Bella consumed me. I had thought of her every day since I left, every waking second to be exact. But looking at her picture and into her chocolate brown eyes, I suddenly felt a sense of tranquility.

"Well, I guess we leave you to it. Take some time to get settled in, okay?"

I just nodded without looking at Carlisle. Esme took my face back into her hand and placed another tender kiss on my cheek. "I'm so glad your home," she whispered.

Then they left, hand in hand from what I saw. I took a seat on the couch, comfortably, and put my legs up while resting my head on the arm. I put Bella's picture over my heart and closed my eyes. The darkness behind them was quiet and appeasing.

Somehow I was glad that Esme had made the copy of the picture. Now, I had a visual memory of my Bella. I hope that wherever she may be, she'll see that I always loved her, and forever will.

I surrendered to my mind's desire, and submerged in her memory, replaying all of them from the moment we met; and until we parted.

* * *

><p>(Alice's Point of View)<p>

The rain clouds were thick and malignant. Fat drops bombarded the windshield like Japanese kamikazes. Going beyond the ordinary speeding level, Jasper hastily flew down the highway.

"I don't like doing this," I murmured, staring at my own reflection in the window.

"I know," Jasper murmured back.

Edward came home a few hours ago, and I had looked forward to seeing him. But my mind was torn to its very limitations, and I had to go back to find out what happened.

I didn't like lying to Carlisle and Esme but if they knew what Jasper and I were doing, they would have stopped us.

"How much longer?"

"Maybe ten minutes at the most," Jasper said, placing his hand over mine. An aura of serenity flooded me, Jasper had unleashed a floodgate.

Damn the incomplete _Universal __Archive's_ of New York City. Thirty years ago, books become desolate, and everything was digital. Then, the Universal Archives were moved into every major and smaller large city of the United States. They were huge libraries, computerized, and held every word ever written.

Books could simply be downloaded, and paper was no longer necessary except in certain cases. Jasper and I raided the archives in New York but didn't find the answers we sought.

They lacked newspaper clippings, the originals, and so now we had to travel to the place that would have them; Port Angeles.

"I checked again before we left," Jasper's sudden tone surprised me. "According to the archives in New York, Port Angeles should contain copies of all the newspapers published in every small city near it. This includes Forks."

"Hmm..." I moaned, being somewhere completely different in thought.

Jasper squeezed my hand, forcing me to look at him. He held a smile, compassionate and loving, and looked at me reassuringly.

"Don't worry, we'll find what we want to know; for your sake."

"You're not fond of explanation _A _are you?" Jasper inhaled, and sighed heavily.

"It doesn't make sense Alice. I honestly can't see your precognitive abilities making a U-turn and showing you the past."

I puffed, impatient, "I suppose we'll find out when we get there won't we?"

Looking out into the wet shadows of the night I wondered where the Swan could have possibly flown off to.


	4. Past vs Future

**Chapter 3 - Past vs. Future**

(Alice's Point of View)

These day's my fingers found my temples quickly. An unpleasant bug had made it's nest in my head it felt like. Ever since it infested me it corrupted my visions, making them fuzzy. I couldn't explain what it was. It felt like an earthquake shook me and tore a hole, making an entrance for anything to just waltz in. It only happened a few days ago when I saw the first vision or as Jasper believes, memory, which put us on this expedition.

An hour ago we left Sea-Tac Airport, snatched any available rental, and zoomed up the road. Jasper was especially anxious, mainly because of my demeanor. He tried fervently not to show it but his shuddering eyes betrayed him. He had hoped to find answers in New York City, home to the largest of all Universal Archives, but suffice to say that we were forced to return to Port Angeles.

I was a bit nervous. The scenery hadn't changed much over the snaillike years. Life had returned to normal, whatever that was, after we left Forks behind us. But things evidently mutated once we settled somewhere else. It was mainly due to Edward's exile, and pool of self-loathing.

Not to see Bella amble through my visions in the first few weeks was troubling but as time moved forward, sure enough, she evaporated from my sight. I had often considered to look for her, through my third eye, to see if she was healthy and taken care of. But Edward's enraged face and bare teeth kept gnawing at me, _"We've __done __enough __damage, __leave __her __alone," _oh how I wanted to slaughter him.

I had foreseen Bella's impending sorrow and wanted to protect her from it but Edward's stubbornness was overpowering. A month had not even passed and I blacked her out completely. But for some reason now fate threw her image back into my restless mind.

Jasper and I were disagreeing on what was happening to me. Explanation A didn't stand well with him. I wagered that perhaps my abilities were growing, and planting new seeds. But he thought it was irrational to think that the ability to see the future could double back and suddenly show me the past. Honestly, I thought it was farfetched too.

Jasper believes that the things I've been seeing are fragment's of some unanswered desire, and that psychologically I felt guilty over leaving Bella. He thinks that I was seeing memories of past longings to aid her in her time of need. Of course that idea was ludicrous. I hadn't told Jasper everything about the vision yet, and there was a piece of it that could bury his psychological take on things.

We had just passed the city limits of Port Angeles and besides population growth the town itself seemed frozen. It hadn't changed much in the past forty years. It's funny how the places you don't want to go back to remain the same, like out of spite, just so you have to relive the memorandums perfectly.

The Universal Archives appeared to be one of the biggest buildings in the city. Just like its siblings it was made of white marble, and had pillars atop it's staircase along with a moniker that read _UA __of __Port __Angeles, __WA._

Jasper put the car in park behind the building and looked at me reassuring. I smiled at him weakly, finding comfort in his compassionate features and not his empathy.

"Ready?" he asked already opening the door. I nodded, inhaling expectantly. I needed to find answers to the riddles in the dark, and prayed that this library would have them.

Jasper and I left the car behind us and walked hand in hand around the building. The night was cold and still. It was late, and there weren't any people on the street. Scents of extravagant perfumes, fast food, and alcohol lingered in the air.

We ascended the stairs to the library and I was thankful over it's policy of being open all year around, every single day, and all night. Like the gentlemen that he is Jasper graciously opened the door for me, waving his hand and motioning me to enter first.

I chuckled and danced through the door. Immediately we were hit by the aroma's of fresh brewing coffee, pastries, and the stale stench of computers. The library was small compared to others but still held a grand atmosphere. We quickly walked across the lobby to a front desk with a young blond man sitting behind it.

He put down the newspaper he was reading and greeted us with a smile. "Welcome to the Universal Archives of Port Angeles, how may I help you tonight?"

Jasper took the lead, "We're hoping you can point us into the right direction." The young man widened his eyes awaiting our inquiry.

"We're looking for newspaper clippings from Forks. Another archive brought us here and claimed that you have all the old clippings from the past forty years. Is that true?" Jasper was very polite. In addition, he had worked marvelously on his aversion to human blood and the scents bothered him less, and less.

Though he tried to hide it from me, I think this might have been one of the reasons he was so obsessed with finding out what was wrong with me, and what happened to Bella. He still blamed himself for Edward's misery, even after all these year.

"Yes, that's true. Were you looking for any specific time period in those forty years?" The young man poised himself over a keyboard, ready to search.

"Yes," Jasper replied, "we were thinking sometime between 2004 and maybe 2010."

A blue monitor, a hologram, appeared above the consol. It was the high tech version of monitors which were no longer around. The boy quickly typed in our query and began a search. He tapped his fingers on the desk, waiting, as more and more screen's popped up on the monitor.

I squeezed Jaspers fingers in my hand, impatient, and tired of finding no answers. Jasper placed a kiss on my head trying to soothe me.

While the boy was still searching through the database I took a quick look around the lobby. It had paintings on the wall of past president's, expressing the political influence of the creation of the archives. I thought it was humorous that we were actually in a library with no books. There were still shelves of course but they were filled with outlets and titles.

"Here we are," the boy pronounced. "Let's see, okay, section 9, shelf 58. We have some albums back there that have the information you want. You'll need number 32 and all the way through 45. They have the periods of time you wanted."

"Thank you very much," I beamed at him. I was beside myself. Finally, there would be answers. And I suppose I was wrong, some archives apparently still had history on paper.

"Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you," he offered.

"We will and thank you for your time." Jasper smiled too, sensing my elation.

As we left the desk area and were heading into the maze of rows and shelves the boy abruptly yelled after us, "Good luck," he said. I caught a tone or rough edge in those two words. I stopped in my tracks and looked over my shoulder, and at him. He smiled, friendly, before turning back to his newspaper.

Maybe it was my imagination. The past few days had been stressful, and maybe my head really was playing tricks on me. Jasper's brows were pushed together, confused, I shook my head at him and walked on.

We glanced at the many sign's seeking section 9. After strolling through several rows and following sections, 6, 7, and 8 we finally came upon 9. In front of the columns of the section were several mahogany tables, Jasper gestured for me to take a seat while he would retrieve the albums.

While sitting I ran my fingers through my spiky hair, the style was still in trend, for which I was very grateful. My head was slightly throbbing, like a pulse. Surprisingly I hadn't had any visions in the past few hours. Somehow what I saw interrupted the natural balance of my premonitions. I just hoped that Edward was comfortable in our new home, and felt more serene than he had over the past few decades.

Occasionally I would glimpse to see where he was. The scenery changed often compared to his wandering which always stayed the same. He must have visited every country in the European Union by now. Once, about 19 years ago he was in Italy.

He had me so worried then. Italy or rather Volterra was home to the royal family of the entire vampire domain. Well, the closest thing to royalty anyway. Edward had considered paying them a visit when he was at the very bottom of the barrel of his sorrow. His macabre actions were unbecoming, but his ravenous hunger to find release from the pain was great then. Luckily, he never saw them, and changed his mind in the very last minute.

The entire time I was pacing, and running a permanent line into the carpet. I was relieved but agitated over his yearning for death. I wonder what sort of punishment would be appropriate for that.

Jasper had found the albums quickly. They were large, thick, and black. He placed them both on the table, one of them in front of me. I had been to the libraries before so it was different not to have an I-Pad model 10 in front of me. They were the main tool for the libraries. Just find what you're looking for, plug them into the shelf, and download the knowledge.

I opened the album and looked at the date; it was January 5th, 2005. I was so glad to see it. From my side corner I noticed Jasper folding his hands over the other collection of newspapers, intermingling his fingers.

"Before we start, I want you to tell me about what you saw again. I want every single detail Alice. And please don't leave anything out."

"I already told you everything Jazz," I laughed, lying.

"I know but I want to hear it again. It's just a precaution in case I might have missed something. Every detail counts."

I sighed, closing the book. I mimicked his posture and folded my hands into one another and rested them on top the album.

"Well, I was in our bedroom and folding some of the laundry. I at first thought it was a vision when I felt it coming. But it was different, very different. Unlike the visions that have a prelude of white sparkles like snowflakes, this vision was like waves."

"Waves?" Jasper interjected. I hadn't told him how the vision declared itself to me.

"Yes, it was like staring into darkness without a light. But then suddenly waves began to grow. It's much like observing a leaf kissing the surface of a pond and watching waves radiate from it's gentle touch. But instead of hearing crashing or roaring sounds of the usual waves, I heard white noise; static."

Jasper nodded, his eyes sharpened.

"Then, the waves turned into a bright flash like lightning had struck me. The vision vibrated and traveled through my whole body. I felt it coursing like a raging river through my veins. It was filling me. My body tensed at its power. And then, I was in a forest."

Jasper had already heard this part which led him to believe it was a memory.

"It wasn't like an ordinary vision where I'm an observer and can only see what's happening. Usually the edges of my visions are blurry. It's almost like watching a film. I'm merely the audience to what's being shown on the big screen. But this one was different. I was actually there, in the forest, and I could smell everything.

I scented the fresh aroma of the trees and the earth beneath me. I even smelled woodland creatures, and their nutty aromas. The forest was overgrown with moss, and every tree was forced to wear its coat. It was a husky forest, and the air was thin. It reminds me a lot of the forest in Forks."

Jasper closed his eyes, as always, trying to visualize what I was seeing. "Then what happened?"

"Well, I wasn't really in control but I could see everything through my eyes. I knew it was me because I lifted my fingers to my face. They were my own but the action to raise my hands wasn't my choice. I began to look around. There was a light shower or maybe it was just misting. It was maybe midday, I couldn't really tell.

There was a large oak tree in front of me. The tree unlike its brethren was," I stopped trying to think of the proper word.

"It was arid. It was just void and empty, and depleted of leafs. It was dead."

"It stood out to you somehow?" Jasper studied my face, taking in every move of my mouth, nose, and eyes.

"Yes, yes it did. I just thought it was strange for a dead tree to be in the midst of hundreds that were fruitful." Undoubtedly that tree was symbolic. It stood for something, and though I originally believed it to be a presentation of myself or even Bella but somewhere deep down I didn't think it was.

"Anyway," I shook off the dead tree for later, "I didn't really know what to think of it until, well, quite frankly Bella came around from the tree."

Jasper's chest tightened and his breath stopped. Old habits die hard I suppose.

"I was thrilled at first. I mean none of us have seen her in decades and for her to just pop out of nowhere like that, I mean, it was refreshing and cleansing. I remember trying to move my body towards her and to embrace her but it stood still like a statue. I had no control over the body I had. Almost like someone was pulling my strings like a puppeteer.

For a fleeting moment I thought that it was a vision of the future. But that was an impossible logic."

Jasper nodded, breathing again, "Tell me again why and please remember vivid details."

"Bella, she, well, she hadn't aged. She looked just like she did when we left her."

"She was a vampire then?" Jasper's eyebrows rose. I shook my head, disagreeing vigorously.

"No, no she wasn't. When I said she looked just like she did all those years ago, that's what I meant. There was color in her cheeks, her eyes were brown, and I could actually hear her heartbeat."

Jasper wore a crooked grin, "Not the future then. It was this that fooled you into thinking you could suddenly see the past even though what you saw never actually happened, right?"

"Right," I said pouting, and in the negative.

"So then what made you think it was a vision of the past? Her humanity?"

I pressed my lips into a hard line, and despair filled me. It was a child's dream. I knew such a meeting with her and me never took place but that trickster, hope, sent me down on a silly avenue.

"Wishful thinking Jasper. Seeing her jumbled my reason and common sense."

Jasper's hand then was on mine exploding with calamity and peace. He patted and stroked my hands while sending out rays of serenity. They spread though me like a cure and ate away the virus.

"Go on," he whispered still holding my hands.

I swallowed, and with it went that awful despair. "So, right, Bella came from around the tree. As I've said before she wasn't a vampire, she was human. I didn't know why I was there or why she was. I just knew I was ecstatic over seeing her.

But it wasn't like I remembered her any other time. Her face was hard, and sad. There were circles beneath her eyes like she hadn't slept in years. Her lips were slightly parted and she seemed weary. And then, she began to speak."

"Word for word Alice, what did she say?" Jasper moved his chair closer to mine.

"She said, _If __you __never __ask, __you'll __never __know. __If __you __ask, __you'll __always __know. __Death __is __cunning __and __has __many __forms, __see __through __them, __and __find __the __heart. __Forgive __transgression, __and __don't __be __fooled __by __the __gambit __of __Death. __Accept __the __truth __and __cast __your __reflection __in __the __Emerald's __eye. __Death __has __made __his __home __in __the __desert, __where __only __this __one __type __of __cactus __can __bare __to __stand. __Whatever __you __do, __please, __don't __forsake __the __silent __babe __within,_ and then she started to walk away.

She walked backwards; tears were spilling out of her eyes. She propped up her hand like trying to reach me and said _I __miss __you. _She became transparent like a ghost and just, faded away."

"And that was it?" I looked at Jasper trying to hide a mask of anguish. The sorrowful drops of water that ran down her rosy cheeks, and that silent and desperate _I __miss __you _just clung to me.

"Yeah. What she said was like a riddle almost. I don't know," I closed my eyes disturbed. "Maybe she or someone else was trying to tell me something. It just seemed too out of place to be a mere memory or vision."

"I thought it might be psychological. That you were in guilt over leaving her but now reconsidering all of this it sounds more like a message. But I don't think it came from her."

I put my hands on either side of my face, supporting my elbows on the table. "Don't think so?"

"No, it's possible your mind conjured this up. Then again it's possible that your visions are taking a new turn, evolving somehow. But I do agree that digging up the past could help, to see what eventually happened to her."

I exhaled, ready to begin, "Let's get to it then. There is bound to be something in here."

Jasper and I both opened the albums. I made sure to read carefully through the articles. I started with when we were still here. It seemed ignorant to do so but I figure that just in case, I should do it. Jasper was browsing through December 2004 and early January 2005.

We were both so absorbed into finding clues or preferably straight to the point answers that the world could have started a nuclear holocaust around us and we wouldn't have noticed. I read a few articles about early September 2004, just before Bella's birthday. I even remembered some of them.

The pages were full with sales, marketing, and movie openings in Port Angeles. I cringed whenever I turned the page to the obituaries but it felt prudent to check them too.

My focus was interrupted by a light hearted giggle from Jasper. "What?"

He shook his head still reading an article. "Oh, nothing. I just read about some burglars that broke into a blood bank in Seattle and stole blood. The police suspected they wanted to sell it for money."

I coughed shaking my head, "How pathetic."

"Well, in times of need people will do what they have to in order to survive." I suppose so.

I eventually reached the days after Bella's birthday. They were non-eventful. I wanted to see her name in the papers but at the same time I didn't. It was difficult to process.

Without looking at the clock I felt the hours just flying by. Jasper hadn't said anything in a while either so he had been unsuccessful. I too was starting to get a little anxious even though we had just started reading through the endless pile of articles. It might go faster if we only looked at the main headlines but we felt that each article no matter how small or insignificant counted.

I was about two weeks of Bella's faithful birthday party in the newspaper. I turned the thick page over moving on to the next. The page simple fell out of my hand. There was a front page posted right in front of me, the headline actually. When we started our search I didn't believe that we would find something right away. I thought that what we wanted might be several small needles in a large haystack.

Bella's picture was on the front page. The date, the 27th of September, was maybe two weeks after we left. The letters were big and bold, "Chief of Police's daughter, Isabella Swan, Missing."

"Jasper," my voice creaked. Jasper jumped out of his chair and moved behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. His breath was caught in the back of his throat just like mine.

"No, no, no, no," I cried. Jasper turned the page, several, going to the next week and into October. We didn't have to look long.

"Isabella Swan, still missing, if you have any information please contact the Forks police department." The letter's were still big, and also still on the front page.

Jasper and I flicked through many more pages, and all throughout October and November of 2005. Every week it seemed the articles were growing smaller and smaller. The paragraphs grew shorter, and disappeared from the front page altogether.

There was no information. Jasper and I ravaged through the articles like termites through wood. Every single day was the same. There was no information, no clues, no nothing. She just didn't come home one day. The police department searched across the Olympic Peninsula. They looked for a body, a piece of cloth, a shoe, anything. But they came up empty.

Missing posters were put on the wind like birds being set free to fly. They were posted in every small community around Port Angeles. They stretched as far as Seattle and Olympia. It was Charlie's doing, there was no question about it.

"They never found her," Jasper murmured the word's I didn't want to hear.

I slammed down the album. The echo stirred the silence of the library. "DISSAPEARED?" I yelled.

"Alice!" Jasper spoke into my ear. "Calm down, we're not alone here."

I tore myself away from my seat, angry and hurt, and stomped towards the exit. Jasper was hurrying behind me, "Don't make a scene Alice. I feel your anger but it won't do you any good if you do something exposing." he pleaded with me.

I didn't care. The anger and hurt started in my chest like some heat. It propelled through my innards setting them on fire. Bella's image in the newspaper printed itself across my mind, it was all I could see. The word "Missing" was mocking me. It was vibrating, growing small, but then erupting back and slapping me across the face.

I stormed by the front desk ignoring the boy. I almost took the two front doors of their hinges if Jasper hadn't caught them. We were back on the pavement outside and I was stampeding back to the car. Jasper had given up trying to stop my reign and just ran behind me, trying to keep exposure to a minimum.

Suddenly, like I had tripped, I was forced to halt. Jasper walked right on by me before realizing I stopped.

"Oh no, not again," I said. Jasper stood in front me looking around to make sure no one was watching us.

"What's wrong?"

I felt it again. The same thing I felt when I had that first vision. The one thing I left out because I didn't want to worry Jasper. But there was no escaping it. He would see it, and his worry would triple.

I felt it creeping around my brain, like small insects. I felt little jitters pulsating through me. My brain began to compress like it was being smashed together. I started to groan, I couldn't help it.

"Alice what's wrong?" Jasper repeated.

"AAAHHHH," I couldn't withhold it. The screams, like last time. My legs went numb and I fell to the ground. I pressed my hands on either side of my head. The static was like nails on a chalkboard, no, it was worse. My mind was inflamed. It felt like knives were being stuck into it. Like something was burrowing its way inside my head.

I trashed and screeched on the ground, and I felt Jasper's arms around me trying to steady me. But the pain was immeasurable. It was like sharks eating away at me, like spears being thrown at me, like being burned alive. It was happening only in my head.

I barely heard Jasper screaming my name, feeling my pain. It was overpowering. I had never felt such tremendous pain. I hardly remembered the transformation into a vampire, but I recalled enough to know that this was worse.

Out of the darkness and appearing in a flash like the last vision images began flooding me.

But they weren't as clear as last time. They were blurry or maybe even moving too fast. It was like being on a subway and seeing blur's of faces flashing by you. But I did hear something. I tried to ignore the pain but it was futile. Amidst my own screams I overheard what sounded like a carnival.

I could hear laughter, and saw yellow, orange, and red blurs in front of me. Over the blur's I could suddenly make out what looked like a horse made of porcelain. Putting the music and horse together I swear it seemed like I was on a Merry-Go-Around.

_Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. _

As swift as it started, it ended just as quick. Once I heard the nursery rhyme the images disappeared. The stabbing in my brain stopped and the fire the blades held seized.

I saw Jasper above me, holding me. He lifted me off the ground and carried me to the car. Within a fraction of a second I was in the car seat and Jasper was already next to me. There was someone coming, humans, and to avoid the scene he secured us back into the vehicle.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He asked frantically, holding my face.

My brain was tender. I breathed, heavily, in and out trying to find some sort of composure again. I felt tired and worn out. The energy was sucked right out of me by the vision. It was ironic, _sucked._

"Please drive," I asked him.

"What? Where?" There was only one place I could think of that might hold answers that the newspapers didn't have. Hell, even thinking right now was somewhat painful. My brain needed to recuperate. Whatever it was that was causing this is strong. I was beyond the thoughts of memories or visions of the past. Someone was doing this to me.

"Forks, Jasper. It might have something we overlooked. We need to go. Now!"

Without a second question and obeying my wish Jasper pressed his finger to the slot beneath the steering wheel and the car sprung to life. Ignoring obstacles and speed limits he pulled out of the parking lot and raced down the highway towards Forks.

Someone or something was doing this to me. There was no question now. The first time I experienced this pain I was still puzzled over the cause. But now, like I said, no question, someone was doing this to me; someone that knows about Bella and someone that was trying to cause unendurable pain.

* * *

><p>(Third Person Point of View)<p>

Jasper and Alice were gone. Their car was completely out of sight. Jasper pushed the speedometer past 100 mph while still in city limits. Forks, it was like a journey to find the Holy Grail, was the only place in the world that now might hold insight to what happened to Bella and what was happening to Alice.

The boy inside the library whose face was covered by the newspaper folded it back together and tossed it unto the table. He abandoned his post and walked into the back behind the desk. On the floor and tied up with a piece of duct tape over his mouth was another boy that could have been the clerk's twin.

The young man's eyes were red with tears. The other bent down and ripped the duct tape of his lips.

"Ow," he howled. "Please, please, don't kill me," he begged.

His mirror reflection smiled, viciously, patting his head. "You're lips are free, I suggest you use them to call for help."

The twin left the boy on the floor crying and fearing for his life. Whistling a tune he walked carefree across the lobby and outside.

When the boy emerged outside into the cool air his entire appearance changed. The blond hair that sat on top of his head grew dark. Each strain modified itself and changed color. His skinny body expanded, and became much more pronounced and firmer. His useless arms grew slender muscles as did his legs.

Even his clothing changed from a "UE" labeled light blue work shirt, simple jeans, and sneakers into an elegant black tuxedo. The white shirt beneath was slightly unbuttoned and without a tie. It looked expensive.

The young boy, perhaps in his late teens or early twenties danced down the stairs with his hands resting in his pockets.

The tune he whistled transformed into words, "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream," he sang.

He laughed quietly, "I like that last part."

Walking down the street he made two teenage girls stop in their tracks and marvel at him, they giggled, and conversed with each other. They looked back and forth at the beautiful stranger.

As he marched down the walkway humming the tune to row your boat, over and over, he glanced at the moon, and smiled while emulating the moon's silvery glow in his bright and deep emerald eyes.

"Come fly into my cage, you stupid canary's."


End file.
